Where to start...

This post has been a long time coming and a really hard one to write. As you may or may not have noticed my absence has lasted about a month now in the blogging world. I've thought many times about just hopping back into normal posts, but I felt that would be a lie and a huge part of my life that I would avoid talking about. Maybe, just maybe if one person reads this and it can help them or we can relate to each other then that will make it worth it to me.

Joe and I found out we we're expecting a few months ago. I would've been due in November.

We have known that we have wanted children for a long time. We've been together for almost six years now and we knew that once we were married we would be happy at any point that we were blessed with a baby. Well, that time came and we couldn't have been anymore excited. Not many people knew yet because we have struggled with fertility issues before and I was really scared that something could happen. I wanted to get through that first ultrasound and that's when we would tell our extended family.

Because this isn't a pregnancy announcement, I can imagine that you can already guess why I'm posting this. They couldn't find a heartbeat and life has pretty much been a blur since. I won't get into details but it was a very hard few weeks. It still is. I am just barley getting myself back into my routine. Sometimes I forget about the hurt for a little bit, and other days it's all I can really think about. Most people still don't know what happened and I really do try my best to put a smile on my face and push through my hardest days, but sometimes it's just hard.

Through good times and bad, through sickness and health, those are the things Joe and I promised to each other at our wedding and I can't even explain how amazing my husband is. I think that through these trials your relationship can crumble or it can become stronger. I am thankful that through this we can cry and be sad together, but also count our blessings and look forward to the future.

I've seen so many brave ladies that are able to write and share their health issues and struggles. Reading their posts have helped me in so many ways that they don't even know. I want to get back into my regular postings, and I will but I just felt that coming back wouldn't feel right if I couldn't share this. I finally decided I would sit down and write this because maybe this post is more for me, I hope that next year I will be able to look back on this and be thankful that I was brave enough to share my story.

These next few weeks will be filled with doctors appointments to get some testing done. We could really use some prayers and good thoughts as we move forward.

Easter 2015

Sadly, Easter is over and it's back to work but it was a very nice weekend with family so that makes up for it! Easter is definitely a time of reflection and remembering why we celebrate. Joe and I spent Easter Sunday morning at a church service at an outdoor amphitheater. The weather was perfect and it was the best way to spend the morning. 

The past year we hosted Easter at our place so we decided to do the same this year. Having eleven people over along with three dogs in our apartment / backyard made me realize we really do need a bigger place. We ate way too much and had a ton of fun though so it was worth it. I forgot to take more pictures because I was busy being the hostess. Plus by the time I decided to take pictures Joe had already changed into different clothes to play baseball, so that was a fail. 

I hope you all had a great Easter! 

April Goals

I'm not lying when I say that it truly felt like March lasted too long. Maybe that's because I'm really looking forward to upcoming events in the later months. I know I need to be in the present and that's what this month is going to be about for me. I have quite a bit of things I need to accomplish and things to do this month.

1| Spend less money and save in general. This is pretty self explanatory and a constant goal of ours. 

2| Plan dinners weekly. This has been a struggle, lately I have not been motivated to cook or plan our meals which is something I really need to get back on track doing. It's healthier and it saves money. 

3| Stick to a daily devotional. I ordered Savor by Shauna Niequist from Amazon a few weeks ago and because it is temporarily out of stock, I wont receive it for about another week. When I do, one of my goals is to get up 30 minutes earlier each morning and dedicate time to reading this. 

4| Manage to not let school overwhelm me. I want to keep to a blogging schedule each week, so hopefully I can prioritize and do both! 

5| Continue the apartment/house hunt for something bigger. Lets hope this is a win by the end of the month. 

6| Start planning my sisters baby shower for next month. This is pretty exciting and I can't wait to go shopping for her gifts. If anyone is a momma or a future mom what are some things I should look into buying her for her baby girl?